Roots

 As I sit on the soil my tap root runs deep

I soak in the shade beneath my family

I got them as seeds

Refrigerated, burned, boiled and soaked

To give them life in a plastic container

30, 60, 90, 120 days and into soil

Small pots, over watered, big pots too soon

New trays, less water, new pots

Bugs, pathogens, pests, creatures of all kinds

All of that before they've left my home

Find a new property and then they're out there

And subject to the world.

But then one day, one long distant day

I shall sit under these trees and

Look upon a forest from my hands

I will sit beneath them and

I will run as deeply as they do

Gounded beneath my bretheren

My life's journey manifest in an extension to the sky

From what was once dead dirt

Neglection into habitat

Indigestion

 My heart and soul are indigested

Memories burp out of my eyes

Enveloped in salted water

Leaves fall from a tree

Bathing my face in a warm ocean

When I finally smile again

I can feel the connection

King Tide

 The tides ebb and flow erratically

Rogue waves spilling unexpectedly from my eyes

A decade since she passed and left me with mourning flow

Which I just came to know

How

Will I wade through the same waters again

The flow unpredictable again

Deep and heavy

Why when I've just felt the warm sand

First time in a decade

Should I be swept back out?

They flow out of my eyes

Carrying memories

Coating the inside of my skin

With a lead suit

Drowning or floating in tears

Groundlessness lurks 

Like a bully backpack

Take it off and

Step through

Hard to dissolve the Devil You Know

They say don't look away

So I stay

Phoenix Time

The clock is stopped
Borne from the need to defend black bodies
it traveled thousands of miles
a magic bean
planted across the country
From Doctor to Professor
it set roots near the water
growing out westerly branches
over the community
to protect them
from the harsh toxic city skies
Until each seedling grew strong enough
to spread out into the sun
and protect their own ground
one sapling grew directly
from the roots
shooting rapidly to the sky
spiraled and circuitous growth
until it was as tall as Professor
but as a oung tree it was
tall and skinny
not yet spread broad
when one day a flood washed away
the Professor and all of the land
he protected began to dry out
as his sapling hadn't yet
had time to spread out
when exposed to teh light
many seedlings wilted and
the ground grew hard
but the sapling stayed strong
in the hard blowing winds
blown back and forth
being stretched in all directions by fate
she meticulously cared for each of her
own seedlings
protecting and cultivating
the ground
and providing cover when needed
until she began to have
a dense forest at her feet
when a reckless youngster
sick from the poison of
toxic city skies
danced upon the wild red flower
kicking it around them
unaware of the force they released
flicking flames into the top of
the now tall and grown sapling
who swooped her branches low
bringing her seedlings in close
and swallowing the red flower
to protect the legacy
and turn herself
into the Phoenix

The clock ticks again.

Settling - A Novel Routine

I feel a settling within me. The resistance to relaxation is reverberating more and more lightly. It is easier to be. Tears for the clouds, tears for stars. That openness above that I always knew was still there pairs with an opening within. Seeing the stars I haven't seen in years and I'm seeing their past and mine at the same time. I fall asleep with tears in my mind repeating they were there the whole time. Connection to Earth connection to space, this part of my humanity shall not be erased.

Own It

They say some people in pain can't die
until that pain has been relieved.

When they can finally relax
they can move on to the next world.

But pain causes them to hold on
Almost like grabbing a live electrical wire,
unable to let go.

Maybe people without pain can't live
until that pain has been felt.

When they finally accept it
they can move into the fullness of life.

Breathe in that pain
until there's none for anyone else to feel.

Hold onto that previous resource
for it is yours and no one else's.

Breathe out love for everyone else.

Mold Truth

Close and Far
Connected and Alone
Too huge to resist
Who gets to hurt?
Whose life whose job is essential?
Delaying deaths vs murdering livelihoods?
Are those the only options?
How many jobs are worth one year of life lost?
Do cops not need masks because they would only vector to the poor?
They kept that courthouse open for a good while
Rich people collect on their boats, beaches closed.
The masses must jam onto the Bluff.
People with big houses host patio parties.
But they'll close the parks if we stand too close.
What's the risk on my sidewalk?
What's the risk on a trail?
What is the tale I'm being told?
The government cheese is growing mold.