Saturday, January 1, 2022

Training In Breath Control

Year round the streams flow

When I look at them

I feel overwhelmed until I get in

When I'm in them I feel peace

Nothing else matters

One deep breath out,

To the bottom

And I'm covered in water

How many peaks must I summit before

I find the Source?

I thought that if I sat with them

Long enough

It would dry out

I tried to dam them up

But they just

Flowed over and

Crashed down

I know I am no longer

At the bottom

Because it's not

Pooling up all around me

But I am beginning to wonder if

My path is meant to always

Be steep, through rushing waters

I dream of breathing calmly underwater

One day my training will take me there

Always up there and in here

 The sky is an immaculate chalkboard

As the sun drops further

I see freckles between the stars

Over that Way a cloud of watery Milk streaks the sky

I am the North Star

I don't feel good

I don't feel bad

I feel here

Tomorrow I return

But tonight

I am in the stars

I watch in fascination

Seeking to rekindle

Childhood friendships

Until light enters my eyes and

Becomes the oldest thing

I've ever touched

Besides this rock

Besides me

Born of that same light

I am raised to the top of

My star-filled

Snow Globe

And they whisper in my ear

"We are always here"

"As are you."

Dust Time

 Old growth forests contain a magic alchemy 

that connects one to the source, the origin, the Big Bang.

The star dust we are composed of seeks a home which 

cannot be found in the broken and 

attempting to heal 

landscapes mowed into miniscule patches 

like a flesh wound on the surface of a human terrace,

trying to heal by crossing a massive valley we usually suture with thread.

Most of nature we see has been split 

into tiny fragments, 

sometimes sutured together into wilderness

 corridors 

once man has exploited their easy to reach elevations.

The dust that ties us to 

the fungus, the insects, bacteria, protozoa, 

is infinitesimally small, and as such,

those massive inert valleys we created 

cutting ancestors to their ankles with our metal machinery,

 combusting dinosaurs and 

releasing plague after plague of hooved locusts are 

too large for the building blocks 

which used to be like ever-extending hands on a clock, 

the longer we left them the more clear our

 place in time became, 

now must be given tremendous time to 

find all of the perfect polarities to 

piece back together all of 

their pre-historic partnerships.

Believe me, 

it will happen. 

But we humans may not see that glory.

We have perhaps 5% of the old growth forest still in existence in California. 

But like a single tree, 

the more we cut away, 

the less resilient the rest of the forest becomes.

Inversely, 

the more time we spend in old growth forests, 

the more resilient we become.

The dust I am made of knows its home.

I walk into the ancient redwood forest and 

they welcome me to my origin in a way 

only the stars and the ocean can.

Like a soldier home from war, 

the leaves cheer me on as I walk deeper.

I take my shoes off and 

the soil life pushes me up and 

opens a valve in the bottom of my feet 

to release

my murky waters within like 

the original oil change. 

I slurp up the terpenes 

from their outbreath and 

as they pour down my nose and throat 

they loosen my jaw, 

my ears unclog, 

my shoulders droop as if 

I'm being covered by a warm blanket on the inside.

I find my spot between two enormous red columns, 

pointed up to the stars, 

so tall they look to be two lovers touching noses. 

They speak to the stars and the seas, 

bringing water inland and life to the ends

 of streams. 

I lay myself down between.

I rest where the stars meet the seas

at the feet of nature's tallest conductors

falling back into a million years of soil and

turning the satellites 

on the sides of my head

to enjoy

the concerto of origin. 

Three Hearts

 Three hearts

    born

        with a hole.

She took a piece

    of her heart

        and used it to fill each hole 

            and help them harmonize.

Her heart beat

    with ours

        and ours with hers.

When her heart

    stopped

        we had to learn

            to use our hearts differently

                or let that piece die off

                    and live

                        with a hole in our hearts.

Elements

 I call upon the water to soak my skin.

Earth push me up so I may feel weightlessness and sky push me down to meet the Earth.

Trees welcome my breath as an old friend, harmonizing with me.

Wind, make my hairs hum and brush off yesterday's news.

I am but a tuning fork wrapped in skin. 

One element between the stars.

Spin Earth spin!

Ride the River to Resilience

In the soil, when water accumulates, air dissipates.

When tears accumulate in the soul, the chest becomes weaved with rubber.

Dis-ease thrives in anaerobic soils.

Just like humans huffing chests pulsating with shallow breaths.

Air is a buffer, allowing what's inside to keep its form.

Air keeps us warm when the ground is cool, and homes quiet when the world's gone fool.

Let tears out of your soul and feel that buffer rise. 

Until what's inside of your soul is so full of air

Your lungs move care-free like giggling children.

Fine

 I am anxious and uncomfortable and fine

Tugged back and forth by time

Yet mine

Continue along what

Looks like a line

Trying to reject my own

little dot island

Spinning around and around

Looking up and down and getting wrapped

Up by the stream of

dots ahead and behind me

Squeezing until my stomach is

Tied up in knots

An endless blurring of dots

Nose running with snot

Every muscle pulled taut

I feel totally spun out and upset

Overwhelmed and yet

Right before hitting the wall

I don't take a fall

I give in to the dot

I'm on and in and with

And let go of the imaginary others

And I feel good again

I've done this so many times

Remember to remember I'm fine.